My eyes are smiling again.
If you received my newsletter, and read it, or know me in any capacity, you know that Covid triggered a major depression spell.
I can count on one hand, thankfully, how many times I have been hit hard with a mental illness outbreak, whether it be anxiety or depression. What all those instances have in common was a very big change. Living in quarantine was a change, a big one, and I don’t believe I’m alone in saying or feeling that way.
When an intensely stressful spell hits, my husband rushes in guns blazing. He called in the troops, he stayed by my side, he picked up all, and there was a lot, of mommy slack and most importantly, held me and allowed me to melt into the safety of his arms, completely vulnerable and broken.
It’s scary when spells like this appear. You ask yourself if you need different medication. You wonder if it is just circumstantial and will dissolve soon enough. You wonder if you are just built with this weak constitution that can’t see you through the really, really tough times. You dwell and you dwell and you dwell some more.
Then something magical happens. I slowly, very slowly, and almost without noticing it, came out of the darkness. It doesn’t seem so foggy anymore. I don’t know why or how or when. All I know is that I’m smiling again, with my eyes, and it’s been a really long time.
