“I find myself celebrating when my eldest rubs my stomach and asks if there is a baby inside, only to say, “Nope, not this time honey” instead of “Oh Lord, she thinks my stomach is big enough to hold a baby inside.” Those moments hurt, don’t get me wrong, but I am trusting that my response of a gentle, “No” is much safer than saying, “Nope, I’m just that fat”. My girls will point out a zit and say, “Oh, that’s an owie Mama.” Yup, that’s an owie and thank you for your sympathy. “You wear that sweater all the time Mama, it must be your favorite.” Yup, haven’t done the laundry or showered all week. They think I am perfect, really and truly perfect and I cannot tell you how good that feels, how that feeds the deepest part of my soul. Now, if only I could see myself that way.”
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